But let's get this straight - I plan to be devious about it.

Not actually criminal, you understand, or at least not when anyone in authority is looking. I cannot answer after dark but prior to this there should be a reasonable amount of truth in what I say.

You are possibly dismayed by this. I find this charming, and the fact that it indicates you have a gentle and honourable spirit is a valuable piece of intelligence. It will make things easier for me later...

I make no bones about it*, I have been honest before. It was a long time ago and in a land far away, and fortunately the effects of it have all but ceased to be felt. In my defence, I was left unattended and the cuffs were loose. Anyone would have done what I did, and I am happy to say that I was able to convince the court that anyone did. There were no convictions recorded - and it taught me a valuable lesson:

Have no convictions. They only make it difficult to be devious. If you have convictions, people expect you to stand by them, and if that sort of thing starts to grow eventually they will be compelling you to stand by your bunk.

I regard bunk as sacred, and have spouted it for years.

* I do make the occasional bit of cartilage.

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