Lack Of Empathy: Or The Art of Soft Manipulation

Marine Jabbour

Jun 28

Can I see anothers woe,

And not be in sorrow too.

Can I see anothers grief,

And not seek for kind relief

- William Blake

In 1908, the word "empathy" was first used in English.It is an English translation of the German term Einfuhlung, which means "in-feeling."

To be empathetic, one must be able to comprehend what others are going through. It is crucial for establishing social ties and encouraging altruistic conduct.

However, not everyone is always empathetic toward others, which can have a number of negative effects on both the person and the larger society. If you or a loved one lack empathy, what can you do? Here are some signs — and what you should do.

Because everyone is unique and empathy is a continuum, it can be difficult to identify low empathy or a lack of empathy. In general, the following are some indications that someone lacks empathy:

1.Referring to others as "too sensitive".

A person without no empathy may occasionally believe that emotional reactions are not real or may act in ways that are dismissive of other people's perspectives and emotions.

They can believe that emotions are optional or stem from what they see as a lack of emotion in others. You're too sensitive or feeling that way because of want rather than because the situation is actually that unpleasant.You're being "softly" manipulated.

2.Responding in an improper manner.

Someone who lacks empathy could make light of another person's feelings or situation. They can also find it challenging to listen to you intently. After you recently mentioned feeling down or anxious, they can also appear chirpy or uninterested.

If they perceive you down, an empathic person could try to lift your spirits. However, someone who isn't could completely disregard how you feel.That's another way of discrete manipulation.

3.Lack of helpful actions.

People are less likely to take prosocial behaviors that might aid those in need when they lack empathy for others. When groups, governments, or cultures fail to demonstrate empathy for those who need care, it may have both personal and wider systemic repercussions on individuals.

4.Everything I do, I do It for you.

Who doesn't Know this great song of Bryan Adams? However, people who lack empathy try to generalize, therefore such sentences are their favorites.If you like the song it's great, but remember that using those words out of context is just a soft tactic of manipulation to keep you in their trap.

5.Poor communication.

It may be really tough to communicate when you can't grasp where other people are coming from. People who lack empathy may also misread what others are attempting to communicate, which can eventually result in misunderstandings,manipulation, disputes, and strained relationships.

6.They are unable to experience joy for others.

You completed that task. You met your goal. You did it ! Although some of your friends be jealous, if they're good people, they'll still be pleased for you. But an insensitive individual won't try to disguise their envy. Do not expect a congratulation message from them if you succeed. They must punish you for that, by manipulating you softly.

Practical advice on fostering empathy

Empathy may grow with practice. Here are some suggestions for tackling it:

Observe

Spend some time observing what other individuals are doing while considering the feelings or ideas that may be motivating their activities.

Listen and enhance your communication abilities

Communication and interpersonal skills are crucial for developing empathy. These skills enable people to interact with others more effectively and react in a positive way.

How to React When People Are Not Empathetic

Problems and frustrations can also occur when someone in your life exhibit a lack of empathy. If you think your partner doesn't understand how you feel, it may cause problems in your relationship.

What should you do when someone who is close to you lacks empathy?

Don't try to personalize it

Remind yourself that it's not your fault and that you're not in charge of how other people feel. The other person's lack of empathy is frequently unintentional and may result from their issues, traumas, or experiences.

Set boundaries

Escape the manipulation circle from day 1 if you can. Make it obvious that the conduct is inappropriate if the other person responds in a hurting or cruel manner. Explain that if they are unable to offer assistance, they should either stay silent or leave the situation.

Build good connections with others

Social support is essential for psychological well-being, so put effort into finding allies who share your empathy.

Don't go to them for emotional validation

It's crucial to feel heard, seen, and understood, but you won't get that from someone who lacks empathy. Instead, work on self-acceptance and seek out others who will support your feelings, without belittling or condemning them.

Don't expect them to change

Empathy is a talent that people can develop, but you shouldn't try to force someone else to change or wait around for them to. Instead, if they are making an attempt, be encouraging rather than taking on the role of "fixer" for them.

Walk away
If a close relationship with a person who lacks empathy is causing you permanent sorrow or anguish, remember that you can walk away, after all you're not a tree.