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Sunday, April 23, 2023

[New post] Good Pan – Bad Pan

Site logo image Dick Stein posted: " The perversity of the universe can see no more poignant illustration than the case of the good person compelled to dine at a bad table. The fare offered may be fine or foul - and the host likewise - but the guest has really only one path laid for them" Here All Week

Good Pan – Bad Pan

Dick Stein

Apr 24

The perversity of the universe can see no more poignant illustration than the case of the good person compelled to dine at a bad table.

The fare offered may be fine or foul - and the host likewise - but the guest has really only one path laid for them; they must smile and chew. Manners demand it, and short of an actual poisoning, no-one can escape the etiquette. People must appear to be delighted.

It's a question for debate: whether 'tis better to fare badly at the table of an honest person, or dine well with a scoundrel. I have done both in my time and unfortunately remember those occasions.

You may luck out - your good fellow may have fine pantry, cook, and table. If that is the case the only flaws can come from the behaviour of yourself or other guests. Do all you can to be pleasant.

Luck comes in several forms - you can dine with a saint - upon garbage...or with a monster upon haute cuisine. Your own character will be as much on the menu as any foodstuff.

Modern sensitivities will allow some to demur at gluten or meats - and not raise too much of an eyebrow. They may eat sparingly, but they won't be discharged starving. Religious restrictions are hard to avoid in some cases, and the good hosts will make arrangements. The bad ones just scoff and jeer - but this is a blessing as it allows the victim to escape with their own character unstained.

The worst situation is the good cook who prepares poor ingredients or recipes that the guest just cannot stomach. There are portions of animate bodies and vegetable matter that are intended for the sole use of the animals and plants and are never good when re-purposed.

Have a secret way to get someone to ring you at the table just as the tureen of steaming offal is opened - a household emergency is a wonderfully rescuing thing. Leave with regrets...but leave.

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